Tremble prayer 1


Jesus I know that you make the darkness tremble. But what can you do when I’m trembling? When I’m falling? When there is no solid ground to turn to.

What am I supposed to do when there is only fear in me? When there is only an end I can’t deny? It’s not my fault I’m sitting in this place. It’s not by my choice that I’m sitting in chains once again. A new problem again.

How many times do I need to meet you here again? I know they push me to this place again. I know you gave me a dream and a purpose and it’s robbed from me again. 

How many times do I have to start over again? Where is the Lords voice in the distorted silence. I can’t even hear myself think. 

Repetitive words in prayer. Kept from thinking to myself unless it’s written for someone else’s benefit. Where is my mental freedom? Where is my ability to free think and remember? Oh Lord how I need you.

For the first time. I recognize you are far from me. When did I become so unholy? I remember lounging at your feet. I remember open prayers in quiet places.

Now all I have is an open pit which claws reach in grab what they did not make. All that I have has come to shambles. My confident mind eroded to a dull look, a simple notice. But never beyond. 

Trapped in the words of “I notice everything. I put that on everything.” And that’s the only thing I have. No mental math or impressive accurate calculations. Simply an eye ball in a head.


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